I don't want love.
This few days has been quite fun. Went to Angie's house with Felice, Alicia, Valerie and Szeying to watch EXO's First Box together! It was fun spazzing and laughing together. Szeying left earlier though ): . Sad and worried that she left earlier because she felt left out and her presence is not needed... Girl! How wrong are you. Very! You meant a lot okay. Try to fit in and talk. We won't leave you out. You and Wanping is different!!
After that, went out for dinner with Angie, Felice and 3 other guys. Apparently, 2 of the guys are guys they met from the chatting app Meow, and the other guy is a friend of one of them. Angie and her guy is so cute la! Felice and the guy she met were having quite some problems... I don't approve of their relationship tbh. It's just hurting her. They tried to match me and a guy, but really... I'm not ready for a new love. I don't want to get into a relationship. It'll only stress me out. It was awkward for both of us tbh. I've been distancing myself from him too. and luckily, we don't talk much.
We took photos at the end of the day, but I feel horrible tbh. It was quite a fun dinner gathering, but I don't even dare to look at the photos we took. I deleted them from my camera roll. All. Everything we took at the dinner gathering. I deleted them. yes I did. Because I feel the horrible feeling I had from my past. The stressful & forced to love kind of feeling.
Sometimes I talk like a love guru to my friends, but me myself... I'm no guru with my own love. I was silly, dumb and stupid in my past relationship. I can never forget that experience, especially when it was my first. I regret the relationship so much to the point where I don't want to fall in love and foolishly feel the same horrible feeling all over again. I reflect, and tell myself to be smarter with guys. I am, but I am afraid I'll forget whatever I told myself to be cautious with.
I'm not ready for another love.
Felice if you read this, I want you to know that I don't want to be matched with any guys. I want to let love come to myself naturally. I don't want to be infatuated with a guy whom I'm constantly teased with. Because I've been teased with other guys a couple of times, and it sucks when I look back at it now. I felt like 'I have a little feelings for him' during the period of time, but after some time, I realise it's all infatuation. It's caused by constant teasing where I will slowly develop slight 'feelings' for the someone which might not be truly the 'i like you' kind of feeling. I appreciate what you were doing all this time, but I really don't want to feel the horrible I had in the past. I'm over my past relationship. But I hate the horrible feeling of being stressed to love. I know whatever you did was to also help him, but I don't think I can help, nor I should be the one to help. Because honestly, I myself need more time to understand myself.
PAST FUTURE
I don't want love.
This few days has been quite fun. Went to Angie's house with Felice, Alicia, Valerie and Szeying to watch EXO's First Box together! It was fun spazzing and laughing together. Szeying left earlier though ): . Sad and worried that she left earlier because she felt left out and her presence is not needed... Girl! How wrong are you. Very! You meant a lot okay. Try to fit in and talk. We won't leave you out. You and Wanping is different!!
After that, went out for dinner with Angie, Felice and 3 other guys. Apparently, 2 of the guys are guys they met from the chatting app Meow, and the other guy is a friend of one of them. Angie and her guy is so cute la! Felice and the guy she met were having quite some problems... I don't approve of their relationship tbh. It's just hurting her. They tried to match me and a guy, but really... I'm not ready for a new love. I don't want to get into a relationship. It'll only stress me out. It was awkward for both of us tbh. I've been distancing myself from him too. and luckily, we don't talk much.
We took photos at the end of the day, but I feel horrible tbh. It was quite a fun dinner gathering, but I don't even dare to look at the photos we took. I deleted them from my camera roll. All. Everything we took at the dinner gathering. I deleted them. yes I did. Because I feel the horrible feeling I had from my past. The stressful & forced to love kind of feeling.
Sometimes I talk like a love guru to my friends, but me myself... I'm no guru with my own love. I was silly, dumb and stupid in my past relationship. I can never forget that experience, especially when it was my first. I regret the relationship so much to the point where I don't want to fall in love and foolishly feel the same horrible feeling all over again. I reflect, and tell myself to be smarter with guys. I am, but I am afraid I'll forget whatever I told myself to be cautious with.
I'm not ready for another love.
Felice if you read this, I want you to know that I don't want to be matched with any guys. I want to let love come to myself naturally. I don't want to be infatuated with a guy whom I'm constantly teased with. Because I've been teased with other guys a couple of times, and it sucks when I look back at it now. I felt like 'I have a little feelings for him' during the period of time, but after some time, I realise it's all infatuation. It's caused by constant teasing where I will slowly develop slight 'feelings' for the someone which might not be truly the 'i like you' kind of feeling. I appreciate what you were doing all this time, but I really don't want to feel the horrible I had in the past. I'm over my past relationship. But I hate the horrible feeling of being stressed to love. I know whatever you did was to also help him, but I don't think I can help, nor I should be the one to help. Because honestly, I myself need more time to understand myself.
PAST FUTURE
